Confusion

"Confusion, Confusion, all my world's a bright delusion, all my life's a torn circus, all my mind comes tumbling down."

I feel scattered, not unsure, but scaterred. Cohesive thought is not forthcoming at the moment, no doubt due to my exhaustion from work. I long to be in America. It, for me, holds the key to dreams that seem unattainable in Australia. I'm not even sure what they are, but I know that they are not attainable here.

"No one here get's out alive"!

Lyrics, poetry, songs i've heard a hundred times and never really understood are now clear, the message, if there is one, is coming through loud and clear. It's extremely odd, i'm not sure how it's come about, but it has.

...

And on another topic...

How foolish are people, to think that they will live forever in some form. All logic points to the true answer yet there is some mental block that stops most people from admitting to themselves the truth of matter. No one here gets out alive. There is no soul, there is no spirit. We are humans, we are born and then we die. Sometimes we expire other times we are terminated. The fact still remains, when you're dead, you're dead. There's no heaven, there's no hell. You're not going to be sitting on jesus's lap up in heaven nor are you going to be burnt by the devil. Be true to yourself and admit this fact now. Start living, start taking charge, live for now! Never do anything that you regret, don't miss out on once in a lifetime chances. I have but a few regrets so far in my life, I don't intend to add to this list ever again.

We want the world and we want it.... now, now? now!

.....

Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection
Send my credentials to the house of detention
I got some friends inside

The face in the mirror won't stop
The girl in the window won't drop
A feast of friends
"Alive", she cried
Waiting for me
Outside

.....

When the music's over, turn out the light's

------------------------------------------

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison

“That's what real love amounts to- letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending- performing. You get to love your pretence. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act-” again... Jim Morrison

Voice of reason

"If a person breaks into your home, you are justified in using deadly force in defending your family," said Mount. "In this situation, I don't think he was trying to kill him, he was trying to hold him down."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429503,00.html

If this had happened in Australia he would be off to jail. Our laws need to change, the sooner the better!

Disgraced pastor Michael Guglielmucci a porn addict

Hilarious!
News article

I'm not sure what this guy is more ashamed over, the fact that he lied or the fact that he is a porn addict. Now, a few questions come to mind:

1 - What does he mean by porn addict.
2 - How does he prove that he is a porn addict and not just looking for further media attention by claiming to be inflicted with this 'horrible' addiction.
3 - What is the problem with porn.

Apparently he became addicted at age 12, or when he reached maturity (oh my god! what a revelation, teenage guys like porn, who the fuck would have thought - it would have been odd if this 'addicition' came to light when he was 9 as believe it or not young children aren't attracted to pornography! That's right, all the protect our children from the evil's of porn is a load of shit - read some Freud and you'll understand the truth!).

His Dad: "It's horrendous because we don't have that sort of stuff around. He was raised in a Christian home; we've never brought that stuff into our home."

Other information: HIS son has been suffering "mystery illnesses" since the age of 12.

DOCTORS gave his parents the option of admitting him to a psychiatric ward for assessment as a child over the ongoing "illnesses", but they refused.

Perhaps his addiction is simply to things of a sexual nature, perhaps he was just acting as nature intended? Could it be, that because he was raised in a 'Christian Home', he was made to feel ashamed, made to feel as if he was doing something wrong by looking at pornography and enjoying it! Most, if not all, teenage boys look at pornography. There is nothing wrong with this, they shouldn't be made to feel bad because they enjoy looking at females or looking at anything for that matter. He will no doubt now have a bunch of christian fuckwits praying for his soul to be released from this addiction while in the same prayer forgiving his profiteering from his terminal cancer (which he was only forced to do no doubt because of this horrible addiction).

The idea's that all religion's are based off are old and have no place what so ever in current society. Scientific means need to be embraced, religion needs to be knocked down to the same level as horoscopes and left there to rot.

Quotes of the day

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.

Bernard Shaw

-----------------

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Mark Twain

Question of the day:

Why would you want to support people who are using your 'energy' to propagate their genes? Welfare sluts are the cuckoo's of the human world, taking your energy (through taxes) and using it to bring up their offspring. They can literally produce as many children as is physically possible and they will get paid by you for the privledge. Even worse - if they can't look after them someone else will - be it through charity or government help.

More tomorrow.

Ultimate Ears: TripleFi 10

Well less than two weeks with the SuperFi 3 Studios and my want for more got the better of me... TripleFi 10's (http://www.headphones.com.au/psingle?productID=310) are now mine, sat right here, on my desk, just wanting to be fed some music. Unfortunately that it isn't going to happen until I get home but I did listen play a couple of songs and WOW! The difference is absolutely amazing! These are, without a doubt, the best Headphones I have ever heard. Not only that they sound better than any speaker's I have ever heard.

I will write a more detailed review later but for now i'll leave it at: Absolutely amazing!

Teen arrested for 'blasphemous T-shirt

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23919551-1702,00.html

"A GOLD Coast teenager who wore a T-shirt by English extreme metal band Cradle of Filth that reads 'Jesus is a c**t' has been charged with offensive behaviour."

What a load of shit, even better:

"Mr Hunt said using the Lord's name in vain was a serious sin. "When someone comes to the point of saying Jesus is the devil or Jesus is 'expletive', the Bible does say be very careful because you're on thin ice." "

Thin ice hey? Looks like i've fallen into the icey waters of hell. At least the lawyer has brought this subject into light again:

"Gold Coast lawyer Bill Potts said the arrest highlighted Australia's need for a Bill of Rights. "

I wonder if police would find it offensive if i had a shirt saying "The devil is a cunt" or if that would be ok? More to the point perhaps i should be punished for listening to music that goes against religion. Even better, I could be punished for having thoughts that offend others!

The state of this country is on fucking thin ice and we had better be careful or it really could fall into the icey waters of hell.

Tuesday

Busy today, song stuck in my head, here it is:

The Great Below - NIN (Reznor)

Staring at the sea...
Will she come?
Is there hope for me?
After all is said and done?
Anything at any price,
All of this for you.
All the spoils of a wasted life,
All of this for you.

All the world has closed her eyes.
Tired faith all worn and thin.
For all we could have done,
And all we could have been.

Ocean pulls me close,
And whispers in my ear.
The destiny I've chose,
All becoming clear.
The currents have their say,
The time is drawing near.
Washes me away,
Makes me disappear.

And I descend from grace,
In arms of undertow.
I will take my place,
In the great below.

(I can still feel you, even so far away...)

------------------------------------------

enjoy!

This week...

Got some new canalphones - UE Super.fi 3 Studios, my Vsonic R02's ran out of replacement tips so upgraded, these sound fantastic but of course i now want more expensive ones, here's to a big tax refund :)

Music - Nine Inch Nails are still #1 on my list, been listening to Year Zero and really enjoying it. Favourite song of the album, at the moment, would be Survivalism or The Great Destroyer. That said the album is still young to me so it could quite possibly change. Other notable listens go to Tom Waits (Blood Money) & David Bowie(Hunky Dory).

PS3 - Metal Gear Solid 4, loving this game just don't have a whole lot of time to play it due to...

Study! Starting Bioscience through Open Uni in September so in the process of dusting off my math's skills. This requires around 2 hours a night up until September, doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else!

Also reading "The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins" at the moment. Fantastic book and has further cemented my views on many things along with opening me up to some new ideas. Plan to read all of his books in order, by that time I think his new one may be out :)

Trying to get out of the habit of debating issues with people where one side is based on fact and one on faith. The topic's are obvious and I am on the fact side. This point is related to me starting a conversation with someone, if however someone mentions something that is faith based I am more than happy to debate that, they are after all presenting a faith as being true which I have do have a problem with. An example:

Person A: What star sign are you?

Me: The idea of star sign's is ridiculous and is based on nothing but superstition

Person A: Oh, you sound like a --insert star sign here--

Me: Actually i'm not, i'm Pisces

Person A: I would never have picked you as a Pisces

Me: As I said, they are ridiculous

Person A: Well i believe that they are useful *opens a little book of definitions*, it says about people who are Libra, they are also very compatible with people of this star sign.

Me: .... and your point is?

Person A: Well don't you think that it sounds like Person B, Person B is a Libra you know.

Me: The definition is so vague that it will fit a lot of people, hell it fit's me and i'm a Pisces - more to the point what does it achieve? How does this book, describing what someone is like, help you in anyway? Are you going to act differently towards that person? Shouldn't you approach someone with an open point of view rather than making assumptions about their character? Surely we are capable of making our own decisions, we don't need Astrology, Religion, etc. to guide us.

Person A: I am capable of making decisions but it always nice to have something to help guide me if i need guidance or it's a hard decision.

Me: You have ignored my questions about the book and how it helps?

Person A: I don't want to discuss that with you, we obviously have differing point's of views.

Me: So you won't answer questions but you will quote bit's from this book and put it forward as truth. Can't you see the problem with that? If you are going to say something you need fact's, evidence.

Person A: You can believe what you want just as I can..

Me: No, you're missing the point, if you are claiming something to be true you should provide evidence.

Person A: I disagree, I don't want to discuss this anymore.

Me: I don't suppose you would.

And that's how nearly all of those conversations end, once evidence is requested or something is questioned they lock up and don't want to talk anymore. Anyway i'm sure that i've gone on too long for this post so i'll leave it there for today. One last quote to end the post:

“What has 'theology' ever said that is of the smallest use to anybody? When has 'theology' ever said anything that is demonstrably true and is not obvious? What makes you think that 'theology' is a subject at all?” Richard Dawkins

Monday again...

and back to work we go. Job? The usual, not too bad but people making my life harder but not doing their work properly is really starting to get to me! What should take me a day or two can turn into a week or more. The thought process must go something like this:

Brain: Hrmmm, i can't quite remember what i'm supposed to do here
..........
Brain: I don't want to look like i'm an idiot, ive been told how to do this quite a few time's...
..........
Brain: (!) I'll just take a stab in the dark rather than asking a question or looking back through my emails which contains the correct process. If it's wrong someone else will fix up my mistake and if i get questioned i'll deny ever being told how to do it correctly.

Time saved: 10-20 seconds
Time added to my job: 10-20 minutes

Thankfully there are some great employees here who do take pride in their work, if they were all like the above i would have left a long time a go!

Broken promises

Not that any one reads my shit, but i did promise to update much more often many many months ago - turned out well!

Me? Still pissed off, but happy. Confusing? Of course.

Caffeine: Gave it up for a few months, had horrible headaches but they went away, i can now have a little if i am feeling tired without the withdrawal symptoms the next day - which is a relief!

Music: Current artist who is taking up 95% of my listening time - Nine Inch Nails. Don't know how I have ignored them for so long! I've had a half on, half off, relationship with them prior to this current stage, liked a few of the songs, enjoyed The Downward Spiral, but never been obsessed. This has now changed.

How it happened? I was watching some body modification program on Bio (i think?) and this chick had a NIN / SIN logo tattoo. Hadn't listened to them for a while, never really listened to the song Sin *slaps head* - so gave it a go. Took a good few listens but then it hit me, Trent is one bloody talented guy! Now working my way through the back catalogue and having a ball.

Gaming: GTA4. Forgot to cancel one of my asian pre-orders so now i have two copies, the AUS censored edition and the UK uncensored (was supposed to be US but they sent the wrong one through...). For the big uproar this caused on forums, the censored content is nothing more than you would see in a MA movie (sort of...), just hookers with options! Either way the game is excellent and if you don't own a copy go get one now!

Buses: Still shit, but no suprise there.

People: Still don't like the majority of the people in the city, the one's that won't stop walking at a pedestrian crossing (busy road so the pedestrians need to stop at some time or the car's will never get to go...) are the same ones, that when in their cars, will beep at the pedestrians for not stopping! Hypocritical bastards, no doubt they think they're good upstanding citizens, probably christians - thats for a later date ;)